The Negotiators Playbook

Tactics to Get the Best out of Any Situation

Oct 15, 2023

Hey Friends,

We have all been there.

We want to buy something that we have been thinking about a lot and have decided to buy it.

Whether it is a car, a house, or your favorite Louis Vuitton ( yes, I see you fancy people 😁), you know you will buy it no matter what that price is, but you still want to get it at a price less than what it is available for to everybody else.

I am that guy. No questions asked.

I shamelessly ask for a discount or hunt for discounts whenever I make purchases that are out of the ordinary. What I mean by that is, that I don’t usually care about it as much when I walk into a supermarket to buy groceries (although even there I try to find places where the overall cost outlay is lower than other places at the same quality of product).

But when I want to buy something unique or niche that is not a regular consumable like a Fountain Pen or journal stationary (for my journaling), an interesting Lego set, or even books to read; I always hunt for bargains. I either straight up ask the seller if they have deals or special offers going on or if at that price they include anything else along with the deal.

I use the internet extensively to search for the best deals near me, within the location where I live, and even at options in other locations to see what the total price including shipping may cost. I’m always hunting for the best deal so if there are opportunities for me to negotiate a better deal with the seller, then I will.

I can’t remember the number of times I have emailed store owners through their customer service emails asking for a discount. But the success I have had has been well over the 90 percent mark. There have been very few places where I have not been successful.

I remember as a young kid that my Dad was a master negotiator. This was the early days of Dubai, the late eighties, and through the nineties. Any place we would go to buy Clothes, Fruit and Vegetable shops, Meat and Fish shops, etc. there was always a dance.

We would frequent bazaars where traders and shop owners sold their merchandise. And this is how most of those conversations went:

Dad - “How much for the oranges?”

Vendor - “35 Dirhams per box”

Dad - “How much for 2 boxes?”

Vendor - “70 - but i give for 65 Dirhams for you special price”

Dad - “ Give me for 50 Dirhams - 2 boxes; and I will buy some more fruits”

Vendor - “Habibi (Friend) - I don’t have too much margin, I give you for 60 Dirhams”

Dad - “My friend, you won’t sell for a loss, let’s do final 55 Dirhams and I also want to buy some grapes”.

Vendor “Ok, Yalla - 55 Dirhams. I give you good grapes, how much - 1kilo, 2kilo? “

In each and every store we went to, this was the dance.

If a vendor did not dance, my dad would just hop to the next store where they were willing to. Options were there, it was for you to take advantage of it.

All this comes from the frugal mindset where we did not have a lot of money to begin with, and we had to make every Dirham stretch to get the maximum value.

Little did I know that I would be adopting this in the future.

When I was doing my Bachelor’s Degree in India, it was me and my sister, and then my brother joined a year later. We had very little in terms of money to get by. It was about 3500 Rupees, which is the equivalent of 40 Euros or USD 42 for a month. So everything was negotiated. Paying full price on things would not have got us to the end of the month.

As I have progressed through the years, this skill has been more enriched with experiences across different cultures and environments.

You will be surprised to know that most successful people also hunt for deals and bargains. When they buy a property or a business, they want to get a great bargain. No one wants to pay the asking price or full price.

The only time they pay full price is because they want to signal that they have the ability to pay full price which not many others are capable of. I would equate buying a Yacht, a private jet, or even buying a Football club as one of those purchases. It’s more signal value to other equal competitors rather than bragging rights to us regular folks.

I am sure most (if not all) of us have been in situations where we have had to negotiate. If you have ever been to a job interview, most likely you have had to negotiate. The Art of negotiation is about getting maximum value for the price being offered.

An employer wants to get the most experienced, highest quality individual with the most valuable skills, at the cheapest price possible. The employee wants to get the highest premium they can command, with a great brand that will extend the life and credibility of the individual.

The dilemma is that every company acts like McDonald’s - where they think employees should understand that there are many more resources in the market freely available to take a job at whatever price. And on the flip side, every employee considers themselves as a superstar like Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo - that they can command any price and companies should be grateful to have them.

So how do you both end up thinking you have won? Well, That’s what Negotiation is. You both have to have a feeling of discomfort for having life a little bit on the table, but also with the satisfaction of having gotten something more than the original position.

This is a life skill because this is something you probably have to use almost every day of your life. You probably negotiate with your kids to eat their veggies, or you negotiate with your colleagues to work on something together.

Perhaps you are a leader and need to deliver on deadlines through the people that you work with, and in many cases, you have to work with people over whom you have no authority but need to be able to influence.

This is such an important skill that even organizations such as the FBI employ master negotiators. Negotiating with people not to jump off the edge of a building, negotiating with people holding hostages and convincing them to not follow through with their intentions, negotiating with governments to de-escalate tensions, etc. All of these circumstances involve a dance called Negotiation.

So how do you get better at this skill?

Would I leave you hanging?

😊- Definitely not!

I have some great insights below and will also leave you with some resources on how you can cultivate this skill and use it to your advantage.

The Hallmarks of a Great Negotiator

So how do you identify a great negotiator?

What makes them stand out compared to average people who are not as skilled or experienced. Here are some notable characteristics:

Active Listener: Listening is vital to becoming effective as a negotiator. Someone who is able to listen to individuals and understand them is able to get better outcomes from the situation. This is true for everyday situations as well as for tough situations.
Emotional Intelligence: It is so easy to get caught up in the situation and lose control of your emotions. Understanding the psyche of others in a tough situation and managing one’s own responses is the core of being Emotionally intelligent. Understanding the climate of the conversation is paramount in diffusing tense situations and it takes mastery over one’s own impulses to be effective.
If you negotiated for a better price at a store, this might not be as critical as compared to situations where the stakes are much higher.
Patience: A skilled negotiator exercises patience, and does not rush to conclusions or make hasty decisions. They take their time to analyze and assess situations. Every negotiation whether a simple interaction or a critical one, can expect to have a better outcome if patience and kindness are deployed.
Strategic Thinking: This is important in high-stakes discussions. Weighing strategy and understanding your counterpart and what key objectives are critical for them to also play ball, can be vital for a successful outcome. These can help resolve conflicts, drive political decisions, and enable international relationships.
Lack of this can lead to walking away empty, or even in extreme cases lead to disastrous wars - We can see some of these today in our lifetimes!
Businesses deploy this to ensure partners are able to achieve success jointly, and on a micro level, individuals can deploy this to build friendships, collaborations, and win-win solutions.
Confidence: I rank this as one of the most important complements to becoming a great negotiator. I often feel that people can smell discomfort or lack of confidence. Confidence and a bit of charm can usually swing the scales in your favor. I can confidently say that I have used this with success in a lot of negotiations.

Becoming a Seasoned Negotiator

Make a plan for yourself to become a top-notch negotiator:

Educate Yourself: As with anything when you first encounter it, try to find sources where you can learn more about it. Read, watch YouTube videos, Find expert blogs, etc. of the foremost experts on the topic. One book that I highly recommend is called “Never Split The Difference” by Chris Voss a leading expert on the Art of Negotiation. You will find a great video below which I can recommend for you to get started.
Observe Masters: Linked to the first point, find out who are the “Masters” and try to binge-consume their content from various sources. When you get to a point of repeated condensation of similar points, you will have gathered more insights than 99% of the population. Watch the interviews, read about their strategies, and understand their thought process.
Practice Constantly: Action is the most underrated element in any learning journey. It’s fine to consume the material, but what use is it if you don’t get to practice it? Try to deploy what you have learned in your everyday interactions. Small steps accumulate over time.
Seek Feedback: When you start practicing new things, you will encounter situations where you either don’t know how to proceed, or you make a mistake. That’s fine, look for people to provide you with constructive criticism.
Review and Reflect: The end of the loop is always to review your action, evaluate feedback, and reflect on the feedback. Find out what works, and what doesn’t work, adjust, and restart. Repetition unlocks expertise. The more you repeat, the better you get at it.

Notable Examples of Negotiators

Some extraordinary examples from the world of politics and entrepreneurship are :

Nelson Mandela: Needs no introduction and is known for his resilience and diplomacy in negotiating the end of apartheid.
Steve Jobs: Once fired by the board and CEO of the company that he built, he returned as CEO 12 years later and took the company to the heights we have been observing these past couple of decades. This tech giant is considered an ace in sealing deals. Steve Jobs’s negotiation with AT&T for the iPhone is a case study.
Indra Nooyi: Maybe less known, but not less relevant. An example of a strong lady who was the former CEO of PepsiCo - Indra showed supreme negotiation skills in acquiring Tropicana (the Juice company) and merging with Quaker Oats.
Benjamin Franklin: A founding father of the United States was considered an expert in lobbying and diplomacy.
Elon Musk (How could I not bring this guy up?): From convincing the US government that they are capable of supporting NASA missions, to getting Tesla from a bootstrap company up to scaled production has been a result of countless negotiations with government officials, experts, professionals, and even close friends and Family.

Conclusion

There we are, folks. That’s a wrap.

I hope you think about this skill for your next interactions. Remember, if you don’t ask, you don’t get; What have you got to lose?

Negotiate everything! From a financial prudence perspective, you must deploy this skill everywhere you can, and do it every time you think about buying something or taking on a financial obligation. A lower price here, and a percentage saving on your mortgage there, all stack up over the long run.

Along with building a key skill that can have the ability to impact your financial success, you also learn a life skill that can help you achieve more. Don't forget that every exchange is a chance to learn and grow. Now is the beginning of your journey to becoming a skilled mediator!

Are you ready to take the leap?

Hope you enjoyed the article. I would really love for you to like the article if you did, and continue to share it with people around you.

Are you a skilled negotiator? Have you had successes that you are proud of?

What scares you in a negotiation? I would love to know! Please share your comments.

By George!

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