Hey Friends,
Have you ever felt that you dream big dreams, and then you start rationalizing with yourself and suddenly you talk yourself out of doing something you have been passionate about doing? Maybe even small things that you would like to do but you fear what others would say or think about you?
You want to apply for a job, but you already think you do not have one or two of the requirements mentioned on their long list. Maybe you wanted to venture out on your own, but you feel nervous about what others would think of you.
We all live these realities and whether it is fear or nervousness, or just plain confidence, there are things that we can do to take control of our mind.
I was triggered by a postcard that I saw when I was browsing through some things in my cupboard in my home office. It said “Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open?” - Quote by Rumi who was a 13th century Persian poet.
Indeed.
Why are we so programmed to stay safe within the confines of our minds and limit our potential? How do we know that we are there? How do we break through? and how do we avoid getting there in the first place?
Read on!
Shackled
Experiences are our biggest teacher. Our decisions in the past have led us to the point where it either builds our confidence or cautions us against a repeat of past decisions that have gone sour.
The mind can be our greatest friend, or our biggest enemy, at the same time. Sometimes, it can feel as though we have become prisoners within its confines.
But prisons cannot hold determined minds and can be escaped.
Shackles can be broken if we are willing to keep chipping away at the chains.
A Prisoner Of Your Mind - The Signs
How do you know that you are getting trapped? Below are some signs to be aware of. The moment you realize yourself getting pulled into these situations, more than likely you are putting shackles on yourself and limiting your mind to explore options.
Excessive Worrying / Increasing Anxiety
Getting caught up in “what-if” scenarios and obsessing over every little detail is how you slowly start getting sucked into the realm of anxiety and worry. Even good things start to be seen as though “there is some catch to this which I am not realizing”.
Trying to control each and every variable can lead to excessive worrying, especially when you realize that not every variable is within your control. The mind starts obsessing about the alternate scenarios, making every situation more complicated than it necessarily is.
“I want my things to be Perfect”
This is a classic avoidance tactic and an excuse to not get going in the first place. The number of times I have heard this from peers, and people in teams is mind-boggling. People use this as an excuse to not even get started. If you are one of those people using this in your defense mechanism at work for why something is not done, and why it takes a lot of time - You are trapped already.
There may be genuine cases of people having the fear of failure that they restrict themselves and use “Perfectionism" as the reason for their lack of initiative. This too is a prison that your mind creates for your own personal growth.
Stubbornness To Change
Getting my kids to learn swimming was hard in the beginning. They had a fear of drowning. Their mind and bodies became paralyzed with the fear of them not being able to survive and that fear was enough to keep them stubborn enough to try new things.
Our mind makes the familiar the comfort zone, and anything unfamiliar becomes the fear zone. This restricts curiosity, favors the comfort zone, and leads you to embrace stagnation. If you are resistant to any change in your personal life or at work, you are already a prisoner.
Prison Break - How do you get out of your mental prisons?
There was a Crime Drama TV show in the 2000’s which was based on the story of 2 brothers played by Wentworth Miller and Dominic Purcell. One of them was put in prison and the other one got put into prison to help break his brother out. Was a great TV series about their lives and those of the people around them.
For the purpose of this article, the Crime Drama in itself is not so important - although I recommend it for a good binge watching session if you enjoy crime thrillers and I actually heard that a spin-off of it may be coming back soon.
What is important, however, is the mindset that they would not be trapped in the mindset of being imprisoned and giving up on getting out ( just to be clear, I’m not encouraging any criminals to break out). You always have to find a way to break out of your mental prisons.
Self-awareness and Mindfulness
Being mindful means living in the here and now. It makes us more aware of our thoughts without judging them. You see your thoughts as emails that come in, and you choose when and how to answer them.
Be conscious of how you react to all the impulses that come your way and don’t let your mindset block you from progressing.
Embrace Imperfections
Through the “Perfectionism” card out of the window. It does no good, only harm (unless you are in the medical field and saving lives depends on perfectionism - in which case, that card is more important than your Debit Card).
Understanding that making mistakes presents learning opportunities is essential to overcoming the perfectionist mentality. By accepting your mistakes and finding joy in even the smallest of accomplishments, you can avoid falling into the trap of striving for perfection.
Adopt a Growth Mindset
Invite a growth mindset into your life so you can free yourself from the shackles of stuck thinking. This suggests having the understanding that capacities can be enhanced and that adversities can act as stepping stones on the path to one's achievement.
Over my years of experience, I have noticed that in most of the cases where people have failed to progress in their careers or sometimes even stay longer in the company, is because they failed to accept changes and show a growth mindset. Being comfortable in the status quo, and “always doing how it has been done in the past” mindsets will only hinder your growth.
How One Can Avoid Becoming A Prisoner In The First Place
If you are early in your career, getting into a new situation in life, or even changing jobs or roles, it’s important to keep an open mind and ensure that you don’t fall into the trap of the mental prison. Those cell mates you will have are the ones that like to keep you there in that cell with them forever.
You need to find ways to avoid going there in the first place. I share some of the tips that work for me and I swear by them:
Invest In Knowledge
Investing in your own knowledge and building a strong ethic around mental conditioning. Staying sharp requires mental stimulation and ideas that allows one to entertain new ideas and embrace change with a positive outlook rather than from a position of resistance and fear.
Knowledge exterminates ignorance and kindles a spark of excitement & enlightenment.
Your Personal Board of Directors
Any company listed on the stock market has a Board of Directors whose role is to look for the best interest of the organization. Similarly in your personal life, you need to have your Personal Board of Directors. Your Family and Closest friends have the best interest in your welfare and well-being.
Having trusted friends around you to give you perspective and advice at the right time, and especially ones who tell it to you like it is - without mincing words or holding back - they are worth their weight in gold.
Relationships with other people can operate both as a reflection of your internal state and as a compass to help you find your way home.
There may be more that you make use of but for me, these are a couple of my trusted & go-to places to ensure that I don’t get trapped in the prisoner’s mindset.
Synopsis
So to boil it down in a few sentences, It is not only about breaking out of the mental prison we have unjustly condemned ourselves to but also about keeping a liberated mindset after we have broken out of it.
Being prisoners of our own mind is self-inflicting, but so is the path to freedom.
Break out now!
Hope you enjoyed this article today. if you enjoyed it, then please do give it a like and share it with your friends who may be prisoners 😝.
As I have been traveling the last couple of weeks, I have not been catching up on my regular “inspirational videos of the week”. I do however apologize for the delay in putting out this post. I returned on a night flight from the US and arrived today morning back home to The Netherlands and despite that, I wanted to stick to my routine of weekly posts, even if a bit delayed.
I would like to say thank you for all the positive feedback and reflections. I really appreciate it.
Thanks for your time this week!
Have a great Week ahead and See you in the next one!
Jithin
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I am far too familiar with the perils of "what ifs" and trying to iron out the last bit of wrinkles before putting a plan into action. Recently though I have started trying to be more mindful of accepting the murphy's law and focus rather on smooth execution rather than inch-perfect planning. What has helped me is peer feedback and inculcating more self-discipline. :)